Should Praise To Help Children Develop More Comprehensively
EVERY GOOD CHILD NEED TO BE FRIEND
Let us consider the point of view: Every child is born to be praised, but parents often compliment the style of material education, less spiritual-oriented. Uyliam Jame educator once said, "The deepest desire of every human being is to be praised, respected and cared for." So is adults, but children are no exception. There was a parent who asked me: "I have to spend a lot of money to take care of my children to study, but I still study poorly, not accepting my feelings for him, refusing to listen to me." The parent is: "I just heard her mentioning material, giving her food, giving her clothes, spending a lot of money for her children, but I have not heard what she can do to meet her spirit. "Parents pay attention to praising their children in terms of material education, paying little attention to spiritual education. Every parent loves their children, but most of them do not know how to love their children, they do not know that they want to be praised and recognized.
The following two simple examples will demonstrate this point. If you look closely at people with mental illness standing on the side of the road, you will find this patient often speaks of unreasonable sports like talented speakers. But when they returned home, they became completely different people, introverted, self-deprecating and always hiding in a dark corner of the house. Because at home they are not praised and noticed. Our ordinary people, too, want to be praised by everyone, attention is human nature.
An American educator did an experiment like this: he raised two very similar small dogs born by the same mother. He fed them the same food but treated them differently. A dog after eating, he was caressing, caring and praising. Although the dog does not understand human language, but he knows he is praised, he always lives in happiness and sweetness every day. As for the dog, after each feeding, he beat and cursed it. Gradually this dog turned into a scared or very shy dog. One day he took two dogs to hunt. When they hunted, they encountered a wolf, the dog was often cursed to see the wolf turned and ran away, the beloved dog rushed to fight the wolf. This shows that dogs and people are all sentimental animals. Animals have been like that, we humans are no exception, so have children who have formed independent personalities.
I am referring to praising education, but it does not mean that education is required for children. Strict requirements for children about personality, action is absolutely right. But should use the right measures, strict but not harsh.
Some parents initially calmly tell their children when children make mistakes. But the more I spoke, the more immediately, the face began to turn red, distorted. Because I can't control my anger, it feels like the hair on my head stands up. This angry gesture makes myself afraid, let alone children. At that time, you ask the child 1 plus 1, then the child will not be able to answer. It means that at the time you give your child candy, they don't feel sweet. Do not believe, then you try to look at the mirror, you must be afraid.
Therefore, parents should be less angry, try to control for a few minutes to adjust their feelings. Take a deep breath, go out, relax your mind. When you have calmed down, understand your child. Children are not unaware of morality, they also understand. Be serious about them, not angry, that's the meaning of solemnity. You should only clear the flow of water and not block it. So education must be right and effective, not always ordering children to do this and that.
You might think: we want to let children learn together, not let children learn like a parrot. The number of classrooms is too much, the spirit and strength of teachers are limited, can only "praise", care about "excellent students", the rest of the majority of other students are not teachers. concerned, all their advantages are gradually forgotten, they gradually forget themselves. At that time, asking parents and teachers to coordinate to make up for this defect. Arranging a sufficient number of students in the class will solve that problem.
Criticism and praise all show interest and attention to children. Whether complimenting or criticizing, children also feel better than silent, indifferent.
In Japan there was once an experiment done: Divide the students in the class into group 3. The academic achievement of 3 is the same, good students and weak students have equal numbers. The three groups were given the first test, and the group's first test score of the 3 group reached the same floor. The second time both 3 groups were given the same cards. However, before doing the lesson, the teacher praised the results of the first test of the 1 group, criticized the test results of the 2 group and did not say a word to the 3 group. After the students in the group did the second test, the results were completely different from the first time, the group that did the test had a very high score.
Through that, the children really want to be taken care of and praised by people.
THE MISSION IS A PSYCHOLOGY STATUS
Praise is a psychological state, that psychological state allows failure. This psychological state is different from all other psychological states because of its tolerance.
Parents often make mistakes in teaching their children, such as wanting their children to do faster, often deliberately telling them to do too slowly, want their children to learn better, be more intelligent, and deliberately tell their children to be stupid, If you want your children to be more obedient, they often say their children are spoiled, not as good as friends. This way of education is in stark contrast to the praiseworthy educational method, which is a scolding education. This educational measure is not suitable for children.
Many parents asked, how to praise their children? You also know praise is just a psychological state, parents themselves have experienced this stage of psychological state.
Children eliminate natural obstacles, they can talk and know. Children do so because during this period, they often praise and encourage their parents.
I have a new niece who is practicing speaking. My mother heard that I called my mother so happy that I could not sleep all night, I called my phone to inform relatives in the middle of the night. Although children do not know how to express, do not understand what adults say, but in their hearts, they understand that adults are encouraging and praising themselves, children will naturally urge themselves to learn to speak, that is the rise from within. inner.
When my niece knows how to walk often very often falls but the whole family is happy and claps. It can be said that when children call their mothers even though they are not standard, they still stumble, they still do because they are tolerated by adults, allowing them to fail.
Education compliments is tolerance, allowing children to fail.
Mr. Bute, who served as a counselor for many generations of President of the United States, had a very difficult childhood. From a young age, he lost his mother and his sibling family so the whole family burden was on the shoulders of his father. His father did not have enough time, energy and spirit to teach him so he became a stubborn, naughty and spoiled child.
Later his father decided to find a mother for his children. When his father introduced his children to his newlywed wife, it was said about him as follows: "This is the most stupid, the worst kid in the house!" He was used to these words so he was not surprised, but the new mother said, "I don't see you spoiled or ignorant but feel you are very smart and obedient!" He was surprised because no one had ever commented before. In fact, this great mother encouraged him to bravely reach success.
Children always yearn to be praised, they will appreciate the person who compliments and admits them. The interest of adults is the motivation for children to survive. However, sometimes parents not only do not praise but also take actions to pressure. Parents have not done anything, they often send it to their children. For example, if a parent does not take the entrance exam to a British university, then ten years after his father asks him to take the entrance exam to the Faculty of that school, it is so unfair. Parents can not do it but shouted, asking children to do it. The starting point is not correct, the measure is not satisfactory. Some parents want to encourage their children to often talk to their children. "If you get a high score this time, your father (mother) will give you a baby." But parents do not know that children like to get good grades not because of money, toys, ... but because they want to satisfy the psychological needs of their parents, praise them. However, my parents always thought I liked the money, the children would definitely like the money, eventually they created the emperor emperor, the queen liked money, damaged.
At this point everyone must be aware of the importance of praise to children. In order to praise our children well, we must first understand our children. Please ask the parents, what do you think our children are most afraid of? Someone answered: my child was most afraid of being beaten. If your child is afraid of being beaten, try to beat a dead child to see how effective it is. Do not know you, do you realize that I do not understand what children, our children are not afraid of being hit the most, but the fear is not interested and noticed by adults. Children are like adults, have complete senses, complete, psychological needs, etc. Children are equal as adults. It may be incomplete, or may not be visible when the child is young. But in the process of growing up, children will have clear manifestations of these things. However, parents forget to forget or forget those issues.